Words Unspoken

The rest of the week flowed uneventfully; well, as uneventfully as any end of school year exam week with a big wedding at the end of it could. As much as Mika enjoyed being in the school and around the children, she was very glad that her time at being Lupin’s teaching proxy was at an end. Having informal discussions about her own life was one thing; teaching a structured class on a strange subject was another, no matter how well she had been prepared for the lessons. She felt more like one of the students herself!

And even with all this going on to distract her, Mika could not shake the feeling of impending doom that her vision had given her. For hours she stood in front of her full length mirror, hoping to catch another glimpse of what she had seen in the dress shop. She thought perhaps that it would give her a better idea of what exactly she had seen. But nothing happened.

On Thursday, the dress was delivered by one of the Hogwarts house elves. With all that was on her mind, Mika had nearly forgotten about it. She opened the parcel and hung the dress on a corner of the mirror, contemplating on trying it on again when there was a soft knock at the door. Expecting probably Hermione or Ginny, she was surprised to see that it was Severus standing darkly in her doorway.

“Yes?” she said coolly.

“May I come in?” he answered. Reluctantly she stepped aside and let him enter, closing the door quietly behind him.

“Come to try and talk me out of it?” the time lord quipped.

Snape’s response was a look of mixed puzzlement and pain. “What? Why should I want to do that?” he retorted, but before the words were completely out of his mouth, he looked away, his face turning red as Mika’s gaze met his and pierced right through his façade. She knew as well as everyone else did that he did not approve of the idea of her marrying anyone, but particularly Remus Lupin. He had made it very clear that he thought she was making a mistake. Of course he told this to Dumbledore in complete confidence, but Peeves the Poltergeist made sure that everyone in the school knew all about it.

The two of them stood there in silence for some moments, Snape trying to dredge up the courage to say what he really wanted to, and Mika trying to figure out exactly what he wanted. She folded her arms and waited for him to break the silence first.

“Mika,” Snape began, still unsure of his words, “I don’t know what you’ve heard, but I do not wish you ill.” His features softened as he turned and looked into her deep violet eyes sparkling angrily in the flickering candlelight. “You know me better than that, I would hope.”

Slowly her hard gaze softened and she drew a deep breath and relaxed a little. She had been prepared for a fight, and was relieved that Snape was being reasonable. But knowing him and the mood she was in, a row was still not out of the question. She motioned for him to take a seat as she perched up on the arm of a chair near the fire.

Snape shook his head, refusing to sit down. Obviously he was either too nervous to sit down and have a quiet conversation, or wanted to be ready for a quick getaway. Mika figured it was probably a bit of both.

“Of course I want you to be happy. I… I would like to think that we’re friends and that’s what friends do, right? They stand by each other in good times and bad.”

“Even when one thinks the other is making a mistake, yes,” she agreed curtly.

“Yes, well, I’m sorry about that. But that’s not why I’m here.”

She cast him a questioning look.

“I, I just wanted to thank you for all your help… with the headaches and all. You know, the shielding from your ship thing…” he wasn’t sure if he was making any sense.

“Oh, yes, well, you’re welcome, of course,” she said, a little off guard.

“I mean, once you’re married,” it seemed as if the words were hurting him to speak them, “you won’t be living here any more, will you? I won’t have access to the forcefield any more, but that’s okay. I am grateful for the respite. The rest has made it easier for me to concentrate and keep my thoughts hidden from… well, you know from who.”

“Whom,” she corrected automatically. Then Mika sighed and looked long and silently at Snape who stood fidgeting nervously with the sleeve of his robes. It seemed to the time lady that there were a lot of unmentionable things floating around them, but neither of them would dare to bring them to roost.

“I shall see what I can do about a portable shielding,” Mika said at last, desperate to break the awkward silence.

“Um, that is very kind of you, thank you.” It was strange to hear Snape being so polite and nice. Mika decided she did not like it. It just wasn’t him. “I guess I’d best be going then. Sorry to disturb you.”

He turned to go. Mika followed him to the door. Snape opened it and stepped through, then paused, his back still to Mika. “I wish you both all the best,” he forced himself to say. Mika remained silent, but waiting, sensing that there was something more. But Snape merely looked down at the ground then, after curt ‘good night’, sped off down the corridor, disappearing into the darkness.

Mika watched him go from her doorway. The silence became deafening. She could hear the blood rushing past her ears and her hearts fell as suddenly she realised that she wasn’t so sure of what she wanted to do anymore. Her eyes fell on the dress by the mirror. Suddenly Mika wasn’t sure of anything.