The Last Goodbye

Following the stunned silence, Dumbledore quickly took control of the situation, bustling the teachers off to the staff common room and sending the students back to their dorms with the Prefects.

“How could this happen?” Mrs McGonagal demanded, her question aimed at the Headmaster as he entered the room and quietly shut the door. “How can anyone send a curse through a howler and so easily? What’s happened to the defenses?”

“More to the point, who would do such a thing?” added Professor Flitwick. “Only a master of the Dark Arts could even attempt to cast a curse by remote.”

“It was definitely someone highly skilled in all manner of magic, not just curses,” Madam Sprout agreed.

Mika just listened to them, looking from one to the other as they spoke. Then her eyes fell on Remus. His face was ashen, paler than she’d ever seen it and when their eyes met, she could see tears welling.

“Well, I still don’t think it could have come from outside the castle grounds, do you?” Minerva said, still looking at Albus.

“You mean it came from someone inside?” Flitwick’s eyes instinctively gravitated to the corner where Snape was standing, staring into the fire. The others’ followed.

The ensuing silence weighed down on Snape, causing him to realise they were all staring at him. “I knew it would come to this!” he snarled, whirling around to face them, his face red with the heat and anger. “How dare you, any of you, even think I had anything to do with this? I would never hurt… anyone,” he changed his words quickly, for he was about to say ‘Mika’. There were some in the room who knew better.

“Please, everyone, blaming Severus won’t solve anything,” Mika silenced them as they started to get into a shouting match. “I’m sorry, but I don’t understand. Just what has happened here? Remus, please, what does it all mean?” she turned to him and reached out to take his hands, but he backed away, the look in his eyes one of pain and terror.

“I’m afraid, Mika, that it means Remus’ werewolf form has been commanded, with the use of a very powerful, ancient curse, to seek out and kill one specific person, you, until one of you is dead,” Dumbledore explained gravely.

“It means that when the moon is full, I shall kill you. It means there is no way we can marry now.” Remus tried to sound strong, but there was a telltale tremor in his voice.

“No, no! Surely we can work something out?” Mika began to panic as she realised the significance of what had happened. “I can stay in the TARDIS during the full moon, I can…”

Remus interrupted her. “No, Mika. I can’t take that chance. I cannot control what I do in that form, and there is no way to stop either me changing, or the curse. It just isn’t meant to be.” He sighed, resigned to his fate. “I knew something like this would happen. My whole life has been nothing but one big curse.”

“Nonsense, Remus,” Minerva interjected. “That’s defeatism.”

“That’s just the truth,” he countered. He finally took Mika’s hands and pulled her closer, looking down into her tear filled eyes. “Aside from these last few months with you, nothing good has ever happened to me. And I doubt it ever will again.”

“No, you’re wrong,” Mika insisted, her voice cracking with emotion. “You will be happy one day. I promise you that. I… I have seen it.”

Remus looked at her questioningly. “Only it’s not with me.” Mika let out a long, heavy sigh. “I fear it’s not you that is never meant to be happy… that’s my lot in life. I should have known better.” With this Mika could not hold her tears back any longer and she buried her face in Lupin’s chest.

Dumbledore, silent during this whole time, nodded towards the others that they should leave Mika and Lupin to say their goodbyes for the moon would be full in a few days and he would need to get as far away as possible to avoid harming the time lord.

When they were alone, Remus pulled Mika’s face up to his and kissed her gently. He was devastated that so much happiness could be gone so quickly. Not gone… stolen. Deep down inside, though, it did not surprise him in the least. But he had to be strong, for Mika’s sake.

“I guess this is goodbye then, is it?” Mika whispered through her tears.

Lupin sighed and nodded, unable to say anything for a moment.

“Are you sure we can’t do something…” Mika began to plead once more, but Lupin stayed her with a gentle finger to her lips.

“No. There is nothing we can do. I don’t think even your time lords could work their magic on this one. We have to accept our fate this time, Mika. I’ll go tonight and make sure I’m safely locked up somewhere when the moon is full.”

A mental image of her beloved Remus chained up in a dark room somewhere pushed her emotions over the edge. “It’s all because of me,” she sobbed. “I should never have come here.”

“Oh, Mika, don’t!” he took her in his arms and tried to comfort her. He was having trouble holding back his own tears. “It’s not your fault I became a werewolf. And it’s not your fault the curse was cast. And Mika,” he buried his face in her soft hair, breathing in her delicate floral scent one last time, “I wouldn’t trade these last few months with you for anything. You have brought me the only happiness I have ever known and for that I am eternally grateful. They may keep us apart, but they can never take away the memories or the love I have for you. Remember that, and weep not for me.”

They stood together in that room for what seemed like an eternity, wishing that it was. But eventually, the time came when they had to part… for good.

“I shall always love you, Remus. I shall carry you with me in my hearts until the end of time itself. Remember that,” she whispered finally as she forced herself to let go of him. “Shall I ever see you again?”

Remus took a deep breath and shoved his hands in his pockets to keep himself from reaching for her again. “I will do what I can for the Order, so perhaps we will run into each other from time to time.” Their words began to sound like two casual acquaintances chatting about the weather, but it was only because both were trying to be strong for the other.

“Well, then, I guess… I guess this is goodbye,” Mika said finally, steeling herself for that final release.

“Yes. I guess I’d better get going.”

“Take care of yourself, promise?”

“And you.”

Mika gave him one last look then turned and headed for the door, willing herself not to look back.

“I love you, Mika, and I always will,” he whispered to himself. If she heard it she did not give any indication, but opened the door and quietly slipped through.

For a long time Remus Lupin stared at the closed door, the only sound in the room the fire crackling softly in the grate. Then, finally letting himself feel the full brunt of his emotions, he collapsed into a nearby chair and, burying his head in his hands, wept the most painful tears he’d ever known.